Be the sinking ship that rises from its wreckage

There has always been (and still is) this part of me who is prideful and wants to appear strong no matter what; this part of me who wears a straight face, who will never break down in front of anyone, who avoids tender hugs even though all I wish for deep down is the comfort of a warm pair of arms wrapped around me. To show affection, to show too great of an emotion, to show vulnerability… it’s a sign of weakness, isn’t it?

But no. To be genuinely yourself, to be able to peel off that goddamn mask and let others see the chinks in your armour, to show people that you’re not actually made of solid rock… if anything, that takes a lot of guts and a lot of strength.

Being strong and acting strong are not the same things, and I’ve spent so long acting strong that I’ve forgotten how to be strong for real.

I always thought that maintaining this strong facade meant that I was holding my ground, but maybe all this time, I was really just running away. I tell myself that it’s okay not to be okay, that it’s okay to have these moments of weakness, but I still find it so very tempting to simply deny the darkness. All I want to do is sail across sunlight-speckled waters and bask in the ocean breeze, and this darkness will only drag me down like an anchor. I don’t want to face a darkness that will drown me and uncloak me and reveal me to be flawed human I am.

We want to be brand-new, not peppered with patches and stitches like an old, ragged doll. But we forget that the scars we bear are reminders of what we’ve conquered. These scars remind us that we can mend our broken selves. That even if we do get dragged down by darkness, we can drag ourselves back up. We think that our flaws are what makes us weak, but weakness is what teaches us to be stronger next time.

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13 thoughts on “Be the sinking ship that rises from its wreckage

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. This was a difficult piece to write, and has been something that I’ve been thinking a lot about these days, but I’m glad to have written about it. Somehow, by writing it all down, it feels more real, and I feel stronger.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Katho,
    Each and every passing day you are achieving new heights in your writing and personal life.
    Believe me, this is the common dilemma all of us face , but some one like you openly confess it and many of us cannot confess it openly.
    Keep it up, you are in a true path of self discovery.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. In fact, you have given courage to many of us that confessing weakness is not weakness, but, it needs more courage to openly confess that you are weak.
        Each and every words are true quality of a simple human being “most of us pretend to be, but avoid it’.
        Wishing you all the best…………………………

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow thank you so much again; to hear that I’ve given courage to others is the most amazing thing to hear. It just makes every effort I’ve put into blogging worthwhile.

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      3. Surely, people like you are the bright and promising future of blogging world, on coming days, it is people like you only simply touch the heart of someone and helps them to realize that their not only people in the world, but there are many people thinks in a same way.
        It is always pleasure to talk you, frankly speaking at present I am somewhat busy but in future I will read your each and every post and comment on it, this is my way to connect with my close friends like you.
        Wishing you all the best…………….

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Your words are so amazingly touching and it’s reading comments like yours that really motivate me to keep on blogging and hopefully inspiring readers and showing people a positive side to life that they haven’t noticed before. It is also a great pleasure talking to you, and it’s just wonderful getting to connect with you πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for paying frequent visits to my blog, I really really do appreciate it.

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  2. Remember how Tobias tattooed himself on all the places his father scarred him? I guess weakness is what makes us human, makes us strive to be better than we can. We will never conquer all, but can gain comfort from that knowledge that there will always be people to lend you the strength you need, whose strengths will support you when yours fail to; we live in coexistence. You are strong no matter what; you are strong to be able to hide your weakness, and strong to be able to show them, and perhaps those select times you choose to or even accidentally let your walls falter the slightest, they reveal so many strengths in yourself that you could not see.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Now that you say it, I do remember and you’re right. “You are strong no matter what; you are strong to be able to hide your weakness, and strong to be able to show them”… some very very wise words you speak! I really enjoyed reading your comment πŸ™‚

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