They can change the way we speak and the way we act, but they can never change the way we feel. When paths are altered, lines withdrawn, our hearts will stay the same. In the constancy of change lies the constancy of our pulses. We may not be the same people as we once were, and we may soon be different people to who we are right now, but one part of us will forever remain the same: we will remain human, alive in our breaths, and even when we die, alive in the ashes we’ve left behind.
There have always been barriers placed around me by my parents, perhaps even by myself, to protect me; to shield me from the bad; to mould me into the person I’m ‘meant’ to become; the person who’s fitter, smarter, healthier and in all regards ‘better’. But now I’m realising that being this ‘better’ person is not the same as being your own person; that these barriers are a little like ropes bound around my arms and ankles, restraining me, limiting me, forcing me to grow in a certain way and denying me the chance to explore all those other possibilities out there.
I think that in a way, I’ve always acted like a “good girl”, not because I like being obedient and compliant all the time, but because I’ve always made that unconscious decision to confine myself within the barriers surrounding me, never choosing the option of venturing beyond my walls; always too afraid of taking big risks, too afraid of what I’ll find in unknown territory, too afraid of change and the disappearance of familiar things that give my life some degree of normalcy and constancy.
Yet change is inevitable, and even if I don’t go past my barriers, change will occur. Might as well let myself be in control of some of that change. Might as well take a chance beyond those walls even if I am terrified… especially if I’m terrified. After all, as I said before in ‘To take a leap of faith’, if the prospect of doing something doesn’t terrify you a single bit, then it’s probably something not worth doing. So if the thought of leaping over or breaking through your barriers makes your heart beat just that little bit faster or your throat grow just that little bit tighter, then it just means that it’s something worth doing; it’s something worth pursuing; it’s something worth living for.
2014 is almost over, and here we stand, balancing on the threshold, about to cross into the year of 2015 which promises us fresh beginnings and a chance to start over; a chance to forget the mistakes we’ve made and be reborn.
But we’re fooling ourselves if we think that a new year will miraculously bring about this new start we’re so eager about. Life is a continuous cycle and there is no such thing as a ‘reset’ button.
Instead the new year offers us something else; something better perhaps –
A second chance.
A second chance to learn from our mistakes. A second chance to pursue our passions, and to create new pieces of ourselves while rediscovering those pieces we’ve lost along the way.
Maybe 2015 will be a better year; maybe it won’t be. But that’s not important. What’s important is that we seize this second chance and work even harder to achieve those goals we could never seem to reach in 2014.
Fate is in our own hands, and if we want things to change for the better, we can’t just sit there and wait for the ‘magic’ of the new year to come around and change things for us. We ourselves must bring about that change we are so desperate for.
So, in 2015, let us continue striving. Let us continue writing our own sentences and constructing our own stories, even when the rest of the world insists on interrupting us with its monotonous commas and full stops.
Let no falter stop us.
Because here’s 2015. Here’s that second chance. Here’s us grabbing a hold of that second chance, and swinging our way into the futures that now await us in the distance.